Dammit! Your puns are so good they sometimes take me upwards of a minute to understand. Well done.

+1 for the excellent counter-trolling. If you do die in your sleep, we’ll have your ashes poured into a Heinz bottle, then pour those over the ashes of a cremated cow.

This is the most bullshitiest, milliniest crap article ever written on Jezebel ever. And the competition is strong. Woke? BAE? I’m 36. Millennials officially jumped the shark about 18 months ago.

I know this is Jezebel, but it’s OK to say that this gives me a boner, right?

Mint is the devil. Plant it in a pot by itself. It should be classified as an invasive species.

Agreed. And much more risk for a plant becoming root-bound, but a good thought starter none the less. After all, what are hacks for.

I like the thinking. Especially if you do herbs in window boxes.

Two adds to this:

Thank you so bad for #3. Tenderloin is shit. No fat. No connective tissue. No flavor. NY strip is far superior.

If this is a serious post, I hope you die in your sleep.

Are there any other righties out there that feel strange in their left arm watching such and athletic and coordinated act performed left-handed?

They did. It failed the first time around, but succeeded with the second amendment.

+1 membership to the NRA.

These comments are disgusting. This is a dangerous act, and not at all funny.

Schools these days. I exposed my joint to at least 69 girls in high school (Politico Fact Check: Pants On Fire. It was like 4), and I was charged with nary a count.

I’m sorry, but this is overkill. Suspend the kid, and move on. Not worthy of criminal charges. Kids that age do dumb shit all the time. No need to ruin his life over it. Seeing a dick does not cause cancer.

Cheers to baking in cast iron. You can’t beat cornbread (bacon grease, please) or a deep dish pizza made in cast iron.

You’re in good company.

I don’t know. My grandmother is Sicilian, and my mother would look at me funny if I called it gravy. Not because she’s a purist - she just wouldn’t understand what the hell I was talking about.

I don’t really understand how the Fresh Prince clip is relevant, but you get a +1 because DJ Jazzy Jeff.