Sorry, no dice. Dude was a good musician, but no different than so many others out there.

I, for one, feel bad that Charlie Murphy won’t be getting pancakes anytime soon.

You can take this take, and take it right up the ass. I’m sorry Prince is dead, but his music is ass.

Fresca then?

PS: I am going to buy some Tab tomorrow to try a vodka and Tab.

Drank a fifth of SoCo. Woke up with a broken leg. This is not a joke, just a statement of fact.

I think I see where you’re going with this. And I hope your friend turns out OK. Please pray for my friend who has a huge hooker, cocaine, and Papa John’s pizza addiction.

+1 trip to the Betty Ford clinic. The bed across from me is free.

Drank a rum and diet coke once. After I ran out of whiskey and air.

There are four kinds of people who drink vodka. 1.) Homeless people. 2.) People who have not developed a taste for brown spirits because they suck. 3.) People who don’t like gin (which makes them bad people). 4.)Sadly, me, with diet peach Snapple. MMMMMM HMMMMMMM.

You, sir, are worse than testicular cancer. I will not have you badmouth Manhattans.

If I agree with you, can I still wreck Taylor Swift should the opportunity arise?

Alternate headline written for Wrigley Field: “Bryce Harper Takes Phillies Pitcher’s Offering Literally Anywhere In The Ballpark”.

Soooooo, is it better or worse if I wipe standing up?

I just told 100 illiterate Trump supporters (aka. 100 Trump supporters) that you were being an unfair liar, and sent them to your house.

It’s a shame to see a young man embarrass himself like that. I mean, who wears crew socks?

The bad man with the bad mustache touched my private parts.

Trump “This must mean something...”

As an encore, Ryan body-slammed Trump through a folding table.

Alright.I’ll give you a +1 this time, but I want to see more hustle on the next play.