They were incredulous when its presence was revealed to them later in debriefings

When I tell people we're the master race and they don't believe me

you forgot:

Between the background and the murderous drivers, I can only conclude that this game takes place in Florida.

1) Pee first.

For your enjoyment:

Sure, but they're an endangered species.

Oh, and the condom? It's there because someone was so fucking hungry.

Game was delayed for a hamburger.

Even if I stayed to watch the cool graphical credits, I can stand up, stretch, go pee, refill on Skittles & Pepsi, and be back in my seat in time to be reminded that "no animals were harmed during the making of this film."

God help every last one of us.

A slight variation of yours which was popular in my playground:

Some bad Dad jokes that hopefully are included:

[spends great deal of time installing and setting up game]

HP/MP restored! But you're still hungry.

Good man. Killing chickens is an honest living.

OH MY GOD THAT CHICKEN IS SO REALISTIC IT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL REAL CHICKENS

at least GTA is safe, I guess

I dunno... It looks like he had the unfortunate case of spontaneous bone loss EVERYWHERE.