Well, I mean, we kind of are?

No shit?!? I once had a long distance relationship after I got someone else’s telegram while on a I was changing trains. The telegraph operator keyed it in wrong in Virgina as I was heading out to the Spanish controlled California territories and just as I got over the Mississippi there was a message for Miss.…

This was such a rational internet comment I had to read it like 3 times.

Has Layne Staley truly been replaced as our go-to drug martyr? I feel old.

Does anyone else get the feeling that Allison Williams is exactly like Marnie in real life?

My freshman year of college (about 4 years ago,) I smoked and got high for the first time, resulting in a horrific panic attack where anxiety induced physical symptoms led me to believe I was dying.

Your mother-in-law is a legend.
Also, is it just me, that I’d much rather someone think I’m having shower sex with my husband than think he’s pooping a foot away from me while I’m in the shower?

Expresso.

Madonna can’t run for president, she’s British.

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

This. But we all know who wins the Facebook martyr-off: stay at home moms.

I think the problem with this is that she equates being motherly, and being a mentor, with being a literal mother. And no, no it is not the same.

OMG OMG THIS IS MY HAND!!! MY HAND IS ON JEZEBEL GUYS MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!

I dropped a name outside of a club once. I didn’t get in and I felt like an idiot ;)

I’m just going to say it. Last week’s parasol story should've been a winner.

When I first saw the picture I thought it was Kylie Jenner

I feel like he’s trying really hard to tweet his way to my heart and I need to be wary of him, like he is advertising himself to me. Im not buying what you're selling me Ryan Reynolds.

Anybody besides me remember when the 70s came back in the 90s briefly? It looked exactly like this. So this is basically the 90s version of the 70s come back to haunt us all.

So, when I was in kindergarten, I wasn’t allowed to carry an umbrella on the bus.

On my first day of Kindergarten our teacher was singing “Do Your Ears Hang Low” and I said “No, that’s not how it goes! It’s do your BOOBS hang low!” Only later when I told my mom and she laughed did I realize that she had taught me the wrong version. She loves to tell this story to anyone who will listen.