Tulsa area resident here. There was no way she was going to be convicted, here’s why:

Oh, did you get lost? This is Deadspin, hon.

“Fans Misled; Pop Warner Competition More Challenging Than Initially Thought”

Potential 2017 Jets starter Brock Osweiler.

But is it shade? This needs to be cross-posted to Jezebel A.S.A.P., so Kara Brown can give us a ruling.

“The hand. Did you find the hand?”

It was noted that he was survived by his family and Bill Pullman.

Oh, they’ll try. But here’s the difference between Stalin and Hitler and Trump. Stalin had to deal with Russians. Hitler had to deal with Germans. Trump has to deal with Americans.

Breaking News: Racist Invites Racist Onto His Television Show.

Considering Sarah Palin normalized rank stupidity, I’d say there’s (at least) one other prominent dipshit he’s got to apologize for.

I would honestly prefer not to have a 12 foot dick. Like, how big would it be flaccid? Wouldn’t it get stepped on? How would pants even work? The whole thing sounds kind of awful.

… isn’t he the only R in congress promising committee hearings into the Russian connections…

The only time John McCain was a good idea was when the alternative was George W. Bush.

(I doubt Pence does locker room “pussygrab” talk.)

I’m not a person prone to conspiracy theory; however, there’s so much Russian smoke here that I can’t see how this whole thing doesn’t end with impeachment or maybe even criminal charges.

For a guy without a working finger, he seems easily triggered.

Oh man. This broke every geek reflex and triggered every confirmation bias in my brain.

Of course I thought it was the equatorial trench. But just now, upon learning this, my first reaction was, “Well obviously - the trench doesn’t intersect the exhaust port.”

He represents the majority of the country

Absolutely! He should maybe set up a private email server, too!

‘I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people,’ said the man. ‘You’re wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.’