I knew someone like you existed...I JUST KNEW IT.

Agreed. Bye bitches! Leave the kittens behind, please.

I wouldn’t mind if all the religious fundamentalists of the world got raptured right now, so the rest of us could enjoy the planet in peace.

I actually think “Born Leader” is better and more flattering than “Future Leader.”

He looks like the rubber mask that nobody buys until it’s five minutes before the Halloween party you forgot about.

“I won an Emmy for playing a woman dying of leukemia on L.A. Law, starring Harry Hamlin and Susan Dey.”

MASCULINITY SO FUCKING FRAGILE

Or when Ross picked off Gyorko at 1st and Rizzo tagged him in the face. That was beautiful

A grateful nation thanks you.

Remember when Roy got his ass kicked by Mike Vernon?

This misses the point. Nico Hines’ staggering ignorance is the least shocking part of this article. The original piece included identifying information about these athletes—some of whom are from repressive countries where violence against LGBTQ individuals is common and sanctioned. With one incredibly crappy…

She really does...makes you loathe Kornheiser even more for his comments about her clothing.

No snark, Hannah Storm handles these unfortunate and unenviable reports with aplomb, striking just the right balance of professionalism and humanism.

i feel like her (accidentally) killing his wife would have been too much of an elephant in the room

Cute emails, but I was bleeding into my underwear and not giving a shit about it way before THINX was a gleam in Agrawal’s eye.

I guess when you really think about it, we all threw that pitch. Sigh.

That would allow for some sweet Jumbo-tron intros.

“Do I regret standing up for what I believe in? Absolutely not. Do I regret saying business should not be first before winning? Absolutely not.”

YOU WEREN’T PUNISHED UNTIL YOU DEFACED YOUR TEAMMATES EQUIPMENT YOU SELF IMPORTANT MORON

Five bucks say Chris has a lot in common with Curt Schilling a poor victim of…