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Any recommendations on a diaper bag that still makes me look like I can perform a root canal on a grizzly bear while still carrying my newborn?

Someone should sit there with an easel and say they are painting a portrait of him.

Wow, the hairs on my arm stood up. Great moment. Rest in peace, Sam.

Of course. I wouldn’t do that personally but only because I don’t trust my wife to pick up first and I don’t trust my mom at all.

Sort of like what this guy did

I guess they win the “Greenest Olympics ever” title.

Well if he did, he was wrong. Robert Redford, Mary McDonnell, Sidney Poitier, River Phoenix, Dan Aykroyd, Phil Alden Robinson, Ben Kingsley ... they’re all liberals.

The triple option is the most exciting offensive strategy in football and passes are boring.

They loved him in Nebraska, too. I won’t forget when he had an amazing punt against the Huskers and left the field petting Faux Pelini’s imaginary cat.

Funny, my wife asked for much the same thing.

He’s already demanded a trade to the Pirates.

Howard Ends, Ranked

In America, athlete give urine sample for authorities. In Russia, authorities give urine sample for athlete.

I get the semantic argument for that phrase. But one time someone got mad at me for saying a male coworker was having a baby. Like, he’s not giving birth, but he will have a baby in his possession and be responsible for it.

“It takes 3 ingredients to make a cocktail, 2 is an emergency” *Peggy, Mad Men

Great to see Mario hit a buzzer beater that makes Memphis fans happy, its been 8 years, but the circle of life has been completed.

Things to Do in Denver When Your Throwing Shoulder Is Dead

The scene in The Americans where they methodically break down a body to fit it into luggage. Jesus Christ. Never seen anything like that on TV.