"Sodomy Marriage"? To all the bigots out there, I give you this one free of charge: Gomorriage. Make it happen.

Don't worry, in a few years he'll be living in the hills, only coming down into civilization to steal a chicken or two. And the locals will tell stories to their children of the crazy wild old man who will steal them away to HateLand if they don't eat their vegetables.

Nonchalant? This scene is the very definition of any word that is the opposite of nonchalant. Look at the utter fear on the faces of both of those men, look at the sheer terror knowing that if they miss that kid goes splat.

Yes. Also, stupid tattoos. Also, stupid confused Jaden Smith face. Also, I can smell the douche from here.

This picture confuses me so much. Her hair and makeup are flawless, her dress is FABULOUS, but I've been trained to think "Jesus" whenever I see long dark hair with a dark beard.

This face. It is the Jaden Smith face. The expression that says "I have no idea how insincere I look because I really have no self-awareness." Except maybe Jaden will grow out of it. Godspeed.

ZAPS AGAINST STUPID PRAY POSE!

She looks like Parker Posey in Best in Show. Where is her busy bee?

Not all food.

Put us out of our misery - DID THE WHITE DRESS SURVIVE?

Our Mrs. Reynolds will always be gorgeous.

Gee, way to body shame that poor woman who clearly was born with only one kidney and part of a GI tract...

Slightly nutty flavor...

Nobody flips the bird to the world like La Sharona.

Something old, something new...oozing mucous, puddles of goo...

An omen: You will have many children, but most of them will not survive.

At first I thought it was referring to Hillary Clinton, and I was confused yet tickled.

Patrick Stewart is everybody's Space Dad.