To Russia without love

honestly, what’s the big deal about this? who among us hasn’t done this?

It’s what one wears to jump a motorcycle over 24 Pride floats.

He’s gotta be old, and he’s gotta be white and he’s gotta have a golf cart to drive. 

That’s Florida, isn’t it? Holdin’ Out for a Zero...

“The performers did not have any physical contact while performing to the rhythm of the music with any patrons.”

We can all see where this is going. Let me offer a pre-emptive “Fuck that guy!”

Who does he think he is, Nancy Sinatra?

Take heart, they didn’t have true love they had “to blave” which means “to bluff”.

Pressing a wet sani cloth against the running blade? If so, me too..

What is this new sauce?!

How does this story get written without providing a photo of the suspect? I can’t be the only one who immediately wondered “would *I* have bought that this 29-year-old was actually 15?”

Except Tori Spelling is like 62.

I hope she took all that gofundme money and is off to Zihuatanejo, Shawshank style. 

A message to the public: If you see this fugitive, no you didn’t.

Excuse me, have to go up my donation to NPR since they are the only ones doing any actual news.

I hate you for making me laugh at that. Have a star. 

He must listen to a lot of Wagner.

did an actual spit-take.