Dear one, you sound like you’re just kind of in shock. I remember wondering (and asking people, much to their horror/repulsion) if any other mothers get jealous of all the attention and focus being on the baby? And if any other moms just wanted things to be back to normal?

He was much fluffier before we had to cut off all the burrs and mats. He’s also considerably skinnier after his week on the lam. We’re fattening him up, though. 

What a fricking nightmare of a week. A week ago Wednesday, my kids and I were vacationing at a cabin on a lake about 5 hours from home. Our doggie got away from the dogsitter (a piece of wood in the fence had gotten loose and I hadn’t noticed). We drove back home, abandoning the vacation, and spent the ENTIRE NEXT…

(huffily) Of course. 

Goddammit, I just shot nachos out my nose. I’m sending you the bill for the Urgent Care.

I say we switch to calling all unmarried men "Miss," and married guys get "Mrs." I mean, "mistress" contains "mister."

My exact thought.

Oh, man! We had that wallpaper too!

RBG and Betty White.

He’s being a real man, a real dad, who knows it’s not ALL ABOUT HIM, dammit. I love it. I simply love their family. 

I have probably had too much white wine, but your prose is just knocking me out.

Hi! I don’t know if this is remotely ethical or allowed, but I NEED VOTES! Please remove this if it shouldn’t be here, ok?

“Crooked Hillary deleted and acid washed 33,000 emails...”

I’ve never heard of a person actually drinking out of a woman's shoe. I thought it was supposed to be champagne, though. 

Are there men like that? I don’t think I’ve ever met one.

Confession: I thought that yellow dress was made of a rubber raft. I am disappointed.

aside: You’re a really good writer.

This photo is curing cancer AND giving us all measles vaccine boosters. OMGOMGOMG

Everything’s fine. We’re all fine.

Also — getting multiple regular-sized pillows and stacking them (wrap them in a sheet or a big towel) is almost always a better idea than a big expensive body pillow. You can rearrange to your own comfort and body proportions more easily with multiple pillows than one single big one.