Am I the only one who remembers Sarah Silverman’s “Hadassah” character from Crank Yankers? That was the first thing I thought out when I read the female character’s name. Throughout the rest of the article I was picturing the muppet-type girl as the female described....

Touche!

Whoa. I had no idea he was so salty! That is delicious (unlike that cake, for fuck’s sake).

Ham?

Hence all of the weird gray-patchiness of his douche-y goatee.

Yeah. Slavery MIGHT have been racist. But just a little.

So goddamn offensive. I second that thought.

What is he saying is wrong with that face? Why is he trying to scare us with that face? What a douche. That is someone’s child and he is perfect. Fuck Jim Carrey in his smug, toxic face.

First of all. Anti-diaper? WTF does that even mean? Are these kids going around pissing and shitting all over the house like animals? I can’t even.

But what about my right at a US citizen to maim and kill other people because of my intentional ignorance? I have a right to get my information from people who are totally real scientists like Jenny McCarthy and Kirstie Allie. Clearly everyone here at Jezebel is conspiring to make another holocaust happen. YOU’RE ALL…

Please, get them the hell out of our state. They are making us all look crazy. GTFO.

“My gay twin sister” sounds like a great reality show premise!

Oh god. Yeah that seems about right for someone who is trying to ride his brother’s fame. He and Chet Haze need to collaborate. They’re both just so TALENTED!

Oh god the AIDS denialists. I work in the field and it infuriates me that this vulnerable population gets taken advantage of. They are so desperate. Its just so, so very sad. All of this.

Fantastic. I’m suprised he didn’t go rage on the Skittles page. They’ve apparently been promoting the gay agenda since 1974. Gives a whole new meaning to “taste the rainbow”. My whole life is a lie.

Jenny McCarthy, science expert extraordinaire. Among others.

Lets see if I can break this down in a way that is a little easier for you to understand.

I’m hoping that they truly think the apocalypse is upon us and bail to their bomb shelters and leave us all in our mega-gay-blasphemous-freedom-hating peace and quiet.

To be honest, I have already unfollowed all the dicks on FB who would have made nasty comments about this, and it’s making me a little sad as well. I’m feeling a little frisky today...

I think we’re all waiting, crouching like gay lionesses, for the first homophobic gazelle to trot across the sacred grounds.