If this doesn't end up on Jeter's Valentine's Day cards I'll be quite disappointed.

Don't confuse the stereotype.... We Irish learn not to get on in the first place....

If you've ever been so drunk you've fallen off a floor, getting back on a sled at 75mph is a cakewalk.

Typical, considering the Irish have a long tradition of falling off the wagon.

In keeping with tradition, after the race Greenwood asked if the sled thought it was better than him.

As an Irish man myself, I can totally relate to what this guy is feeling when I try to hold onto my bed every Saturday morning...

Announcing your retirement a year early is SO arrogant. You're basically telling every team, "Okay, you're on warning—GIVE ME STUFF when I get to your ballpark." And ESPN gets to celebrate your retirement both the moment you announce it an the moment you actually retire.

They may have crashed on the track but, from the looks of it, Al still managed to finish.

This story has inspired me, and on Valentine's Day no less. Tonight, when I finish 30 minutes ahead of my wife, I vow to stay awake and congratulate her perseverance.

So, who ordered the sacks on the beach?!

And here I was thinking we'd seen our last cover model sporting a one piece.

I can't believe this. Y'all do realize that there are some young ladies that frequent this site, are you not? Now they're going to think that baseball is a water sport, bless their hearts.

That is nuts.

In all fairness, this is probably less photoshopped than the Upton cover shot last year.

What I don't get is that after multiple hundreds of hours in wind tunnel tests no one thought to test it out on an athlete on a track? This is a glaring example of that which is meticulously designed and working in a lab setting meets real world application.

But does it help them protect this house?

Oh, then yeah now I am sure it's a fake!

Did the fact its from the Onion tip you off?

Obviously this was fake. I mean did you SEE those bedrooms?!?