When we moved into our current place a friend gave us this elaborate set of Ginsu knives. I could not have been more thrilled.

The Thoughts and Prayers Strategic Reserve (TAPSREV) has been depleted due to budget cuts necessary to pay for the next round of upper class and corporate tax relief.

As a claustrophobe, this is just terrifying.  I’m practically in hives from reading this.  This is literal torture.

Hundreds of parents who voluntarily permitted their children to watch a bunch of grown men give each other debilitating brain injuries earlier this month have filed FCC complaints—not because of the aforementioned brain injuries, but because of Jennifer Lopez and Shakira, who put on a very good Super Bowl halftime…

Why on earth would you use a semi-automatic weapon to kill deer? 

Nice.

Muahahahaha! I’ve collected a TDI for those duties.

Twingos are A LOT better than Smarts at being a real car.

Me @ Harvey Weinstien and that garbage bag Donna Rotunno:

Hi SNS! I’ve been not on Jez on Saturday nights for like, months?? Kenderín and I are doing well, she’s currently trying to feed and look around at the same time (low success rate but sure she tries)

The “coffee is hot lol, dumbass” joke fades as soon as you actually look at the case and discover that the coffee was so hot it fused a 79-year-old woman’s labia together.

This isn’t CNN, so nobody is pretending to cover politics from some completely impartial, middle-of-the-road approach that’s impossible to meet anyways. This is a left-wing site staffed by left-wing writers, so of course it will have left-wing articles.

I work at an agency where the men in charge are absolute dipshits who have zero clue what we actually do and kind of make it their mission to misunderstand what we do, while the middle manager women who actually run the joint are continuously ignored and dismissed when it comes to big picture ideas etc. Just an FYI.

Deadspin isn’t gone because the readership was tired of politics. It’s gone because a dumbfuck vulture capitalist tried to dictate the content while ignoring literally everything that made the site worth anything.

Good job missing the point. I’m not the one complaining about the writers on a leftie car blog doing the job they were hired to do, which is to write leftie car articles. Just like I don’t go into a Chinese restaurant and complain that my opinion doesn’t matter because they don’t serve pizza.

Yeah, Jalopnik should stick to sports, like Deadspin. . . oh wait.

Herb is doing his best to shut down the sites and make money off of the corpses... somehow.

I was also a little worried when I saw the old stories reposted. But they still did NP or CP this morning, and Elizabeth posted a story about racing. All is well.

It’s probably my childless status, or some twisted part of my personality, but whenever someone announces their pregnancy my first thought is, “Oh, no...” even if the parents are outwardly happy and excited and clearly have their life together.

Did it cause any creases or marks on your face/eyes?

Did it cause any creases or marks on your face/eyes?