At my old print shop, I was told an arrow, the only thing that was on a poster, was pointing the wrong way

The siren call of waffles is far too great for anyone to truly deny.

Jesus tapdancing Christ... How do you manage living on that island? Everything is trying to kill you AND waffles “aren’t a thing”?

YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAM MOUTH FINGERS WITH THE TYPING.

Whenever someone brings up the arm-flab dilemma, I put my arms up like a body builder, and tell them “whenever I feel bad about my arms, I remember what I named them. Paul.” Kiss the right arm “McCartney” kiss the left arm, “WINGS!” shake both arms furiously.

It makes people laugh so now I know they’re thinking about…

Their judgements are disgusting, not you.

<3

Who the fuck is gonna tell me what to do with my arms. Seriously. I challenge any motherfucker to say a goddamn word. These are the arms that dug my garden, that rocked my baby, that hold my husband, and I’m proud of them. I’ve got KP, farmer’s tan, and a ton of jiggle, but that doesn’t mean I have to suffer through…

This is a seminal observation which as made a vas deferens to the way in which I view this story.

You gotta be a next level of evil if you make a Walmart heir look sympathetic in a story.

Garbo’s Gams Left Alone

I’ll never understand how Judy Greer isn’t a star right now.

This is a fair point!

Really? I thought it was buying the coffee shop and running it into the ground.

Yes, and no. Do you wear them straight outta bed?

YES

I LOVE QUADOREOS SOMETIMES WHEN I’M V HIGH I MAKE OCTOREOS

I mean, technically speaking, a cliff isn’t really a slope, but I still support the sentiment.

i want to push anti vaxxers down a slippery slope

don’t send them to the east coast we don’t want them we have too many people as it is

woah, u win.