I spent all morning refreshing my gmail, hoping for a last minute phone interview to be scheduled (I got the interview, did well - fingers crossed for an in person interview ASAP).

If it makes you feel any better/worse, I'm on the short side of tall/tall side of average (5'7") and a freelance photographer. I had been invited to shoot performance stills of an up and coming band performing a <we just played Bonnaroo, now we're playing the bar where it all started> show. I had showed up early and…

If by "dick fright" you mean "Sorry, Buckley but I'm afraid you're a humongous festering dick," then yes - dick fright it is.

I'd bet dairy allergy.

I'm betting convention center or church.

This gif while listening to the sampled flute in the Beastie Boys' Sure Shot is enough to hypnotize a gal fer realz.

I danced from 3-12. My feet are STILL heinous and I still have calves that defy standard issue boots.

Apparently, the purchase of my first set of real pointe shoes induced immediate puberty and my athletic build transformed into what can only be described as lineman-meets-burlesque dancer. Madame Francke clucked…

I am not trying to underestimate the potential of a psychologically traumatized child to disrupt a home, but I did read that the older (biological) children are teenage boys and the adopted children were 3 and 6 - you teach the older kids to defend themselves passively, and you give those little ones as much love as…

Soooooo, he gave the kids away to some sick-o and didn't notify the appropriate authorities because they didn't want to get in trouble.

I got organic CO at my local Aldi for $5.99, but you can't always find it - also, I'm not fond of the smell or taste of coconut, and the stuff from Aldi SMELLS LIKE COCONUT. The stuff i get from the local health food store smells like — nothing. I just can't beat that Aldi price!

(pssst. coconut oil.)

I ran out of my remover wipes -that I was already cutting into thirds or quarters to use a more reasonable size/save $$$- and grabbed the coconut oil I had in the bathroom because I'd just mixed up a honey/oliveoil/cocnut oil winter dry scalp salve; a tiny scoop (size of a pearl) cleared my whole…

That Eyeko eyeliner pen is my ALL TIME FAVORITE eyeliner. They ran out of it at Sephora *AND* Ulta in the same week last time I made a run (they must've been shipping them all to Birchbox, eh), so I'm making do with the Stila eye pen.

I thought she was channeling Anna Nicole.

I have a client who is a big supporter of 4h. He sponsors kid farmers and buys auction critters up for slaughter to keep the program funded. He'll bring me random parcels of meat when he has more than fits in his freezer - grassed beef, pork, lamb and goat on the fairly regular.

Doxie's are the most feline of the canine world - constantly trying to kill their humans by misstep.

My dumb Dachshund hovers just behind my feet in the kitchen whilst I flounder about trying to make foods for my family. He is the smartest/dumbest dog on earth.

Smart, because I am a klutz in the kitchen and drop food ALL THE TIME, so underfoot is where the NOM happens.

He totally kept that $17 as a tip.

Also, peanuts and tree nuts are often processed on the same machines, it's not wise to trust your life on the ability of a factory worker to clean EVERY MOLECULE of hazelnut off the machine before they start tending to the walnuts.

Because Air hockey.