Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Making a note for my family so they never ever put me in a nursing home. Just give me a hug and let me go.

I am absolutely digging this conspiracy. Andrew’s at the center of it all!

New Moon on Monday

Tons of men regret removing their prostate after cancer because they are often unable to have sex and experience incontinence. Let’s ban prostate removal. Men will die, sure, but they’ll remain as god made them: suffering from a treatable disease.

I hate Berniebots as much as I fucking hate MAGAts. I blame them for this shit too.

Here’s some fun anti-Nazi news to cheer everyone up. One of the UKIP candidates for the South West region in the European Elections is some “trigger teh libs” “anti-feminazi/SJWs” YouTuber and even being someone who’s tuned in on to politics I had no idea he’s actually been out campaigning in these parts this week.

...this legislation stands as a powerful testament to Alabamians’ deeply held belief that every life is precious & that every life is a sacred gift from God. 

How many people regret their marriage? Let's ban marriages!!! 

It’s SO much harder to find employment as a felon. They’re very clearly trying to push us back out of the workforce too. I know this goes farther back than #MeToo, but this feels like retaliation... especially because we all know how Kavanaugh is gonna rule.

If fetuses get full personhood rights, then child support had better fucking be paid retroactively.

To everyone who wouldn’t vote for Hillary or didn’t vote at all:

Rub it in, why don’t you. There they are, a loving mother and her two children on the Great Wall of China (I assume; what else could it be.) Meanwhile we’re stuck with a president who doesn’t even pay lip service to the fact that he has a (third) wife and five children. Well, Ivanka, of course, is the exception, but…

If elected president, Sen. Elizabeth Warren says she would nominate a former public school teacher to lead the Department of Education.

The Westerosi system of government is sexist. Women cannot rule as Queen unless there are no dudes left, and even then it’s still up for debate. (Cersei is an exception because she terrorized everyone into fearful submission.) That’s sexist.

Ok, I rewatched it too, and was super prepared to be pissed at Quill again. Then I noticed that it’s actually Tony that screws up. Quill is mad and understandably so, but Tony quits pulling on the glove to walk over and berate Quill. That leaves Spidey pulling on the glove on his own, and he almost gets it. If Tony…

“...they were caught stealing $1,200 worth of Apple products, mostly Apple pencils,...”

Once this is in place, I have to imagine that Amazon will eventually do away with most of the free return shipping on items if you are within a certain range of a Kohl’s store or one of their lock boxes. 

I absolutely cannot wait to see how largely management fucks up communicating this with us Customer Service Associates. I don’t have a problem with the policy, fuck it, we all work for Amazon now anyway. But I cannot WAIT to tell somebody their purchase doesn’t qualify and have them lose their shit on me.

You know what I’d prefer over wifi? More comfortable seats. I, like millions of other air travelers, have resigned myself to the fact that I’m blasting through the atmosphere at hundreds of miles per hour for hours and airlines are going to cram as many of us into that space as they physically can. However, I do…

This will end when we get rid of the orange. So vote. Vote for democrats across the board, senate, judges, and, of course, the white house. Crush the right wing haters.