Rub-a

I used a handicap bathroom the other day, despite that fact that neither myself nor my toddler are handicapped. Do I deserve to be shot? Go fuck yourself in your trollhole, you cop-sucker.

daaaaamn 

wait, is he literally banned from a zoo? How? What?

low neck:head ratio, this one

There’s a person in a wheelchair in that crowd of people. Jesusfuckingchrist.

yours is pretty great too!

Are straight women OK

God that is so sad and makes me so happy I went to an all-female undergrad school.

Why don’t they just sit down? I know a number of guys, all lovely specimens of masculinity, who tell me they choose to sit down to pee at home because it’s easier and less messy. Guys don’t have to stand to pee. They have choices.

This is some uncanny valley shit 

looks like an eyelid lift to me.

Maybe “delete the Reddit app” should be on there....

It’s a Palmier. My in-laws always have a carton of Petite Palmieres on hand; I think they get them at Costco.

Ghislaine Maxwell. How exactly is that first name pronounced? In my mind it’s “Jizz-lane,” which is just too on the nose for this whole story.

the word you wanted to use is schlubby, not schleppy.

WATAN asshole

Dammit Kate, I feel creepy because I always like your picks.

I can’t wait for the apocalypse when our country shall be overrun with a plague of snakes, a la Guam, and Shake Shack’s inevitable rebranding as “Snake Snack.”

I hear a lot of people saying “weary” when perhaps they mean to say “wary” or “leery.” I’m quite weary of it, in fact.