Unfortunately, being belittled by a woman is probably his kink. Ugh. Dudes.

The parents could’ve spelled it wrong on the birth certificate, which makes it even worse.

Caribbean jerk seasoning is great on popcorn if you like spicy. I throw in a little extra brown sugar sometimes and that really slays.

Seconded. In my household we call this Lesbian Doritos.

I was very much on the fence about it and then was just like, why not? There’s so many shitty stupid people having kids, we have to try to balance it out somehow. Being queer, it was definitely something we planned, so maybe that helped make it less miserable— I imagine a surprise pregnancy could absolutely wreck your…

Our 22-month old sleeps like a dream. The first week was rough but after that, all good. Fortunately we live in a tiny apartment and don’t need a baby monitor since we’re never more than 15 feet away from him at all times. 

Regarding the sleeplessness of those first few days: you do realize that’s a feature, not a bug, right? You know how the military uses sleep deprivation during bootcamp? Shared misery makes you bond harder with your comrades. That’s my theory, anyway.

same! take video and send it to your precinct. I did that last spring (I’ve no particular love for the NYPD, but these assholes were popping wheelies on the sidewalk during the day and there’s a lot of older people in my neighborhood who can’t move so fast) and the problem ceased.

Honey was always my go-to back when I ate the things. 

It’s not my taste, but damned if I don’t enjoy eccentricity. People are so boring and careful these days. Every fucking car is some aspirational shade of silver or black. What happened to rockin’ a purple Chevy Nova? Team Flintstones all the way.

That’s their goal.

Hey, at least you remember what you were drinking in your twenties. 

Thanks for this! I can’t believe it’s 2019 and half these comments are from people who feel threatened by someone’s gender presentation. 

From further down in the comments:
“The Sultan of Brunei is the owner of the Dorchester Collection which includes the Beverly Hills hotel, Le Meurice & Plaza Athenee in Paris, Principe di Savoia in Milan, Coworth Park in Berkshire. It would be terrible advertisement if their social media accounts were flooded with…

ok but “Them” already exists. I haven’t seen “Us” yet (don’t spoil it for me) but as a nerd I assume it references or plays off of this classic B-movie.

CashmeOutback 

Why the fuck is she allowed to pray in the House of Representatives? SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE, PEOPLE

a lot of fish, especially sharks, can have a strong ammonia flavor if they’re not cleaned soon after catching. 

Why is it measured in quarts? Can’t we just say it was 5 and-a-half gallons? Or is that somehow less impressive?

we still have perfectly good electric chairs