Why change the name? They should double down and do a promo with:

This will be a nice way to give back to all the crabs and lobsters I’ve eaten in my life. 

I love a good glut

this comment rocks!

I wonder what kind of wine she’ll be mixing with her meds tonight. 

Wait why am I agreeing with Ann fucking Coulter’s second tweet up there about deporting Jared Kushner?! what is going on in this world?

“dearth” means a lack of something. Perhaps you meant “wealth.”

My Russian friend told me that when he was growing up in the USSR in the 80s/90s, you knew when shit was going down because there would only be figure-skating and ballet on TV. 

you’re still not getting any lasagna.

well-done

I don’t get it

It’s a SEX REVEAL. My guess is that adult Americans are too chickenshit to say “sex” so they go for the incorrect term “gender.” 

Tamir Rice.

two weeks > fortnite

Unfortunately this guy will have been run through the court/jail wringer by the time weed is legalized. Nothing funny about this story, really. 

They should be forced out of office, preferably through a fine mesh.

it’s 2019 and people have walked on the Moon and yet...

Related: almost every day I think “thank god I’m gay” because I don’t have to be romantically involved with men.

I don’t take my kid to bars because when I drink, I want to enjoy my fucking drink.

....................................................please enumerate the successes of this administration so far. I’ll wait.