Here’s a better juicer. No batteries, easy to clean. Doesn’t snitch to the NSA how many glasses of limeade you had either.

Our office has snacks, but those are some crazy expensive snacks yours offers.

Keep fucking that chicken. I’m sure they’re rushing to change it for you.

You just don’t give up. I love that. I will probably need you when my DRM Washing Machine & Dryer is tied to my new fashion line with QR codes on the tags so it will only wash my clothes hits the market next year. Oh and they will be both Blue tooth/WiFi enabled.

JEEBS!

I think this product is perfect for people who are too stupid to realize they are paying $112/gallon for juice.

Let it go, man. No gives a fuck that you don’t like infinite scrolling. Install a browser extension to disable it and move on with your life.

So help me out - in what way is this different from grabbing a juicebox from the fridge?

It says in the linked article that you can only buy their juice if you bought the machine! Ridic.

Silicon Valley is a stupid libertarian dystopia where investor-class vampires are the consumers and a regular person’s money is what they go shopping for.

My favorite bag of juice is the orange.

Hack Your Juicero With This One Weird Trick

In Bloomberg’s squeeze tests, hands did the job quicker, but the device was slightly more thorough.

No, that guy dies of thirst, sitting on his barstool, waiting for power to come back on, with a carton of almond milk in the fridge that he can’t drink because it’s the wrong flavor.

I really hope Doug gets that patent on the concept of pressure being created by two things smooshing together.

Just picture some poor rich asshole in silicon valley sitting in his kitchen during a power outage. He has the juice bag in front of him, and he’s staring at a machine that will turn that bag in to juice. That machine will not work because he has neither power, nor the required internet connection.

Forced to choose, I’d prefer to hang out with Marshawn, but both he and Gronk seem like fun guys.

20% in one year is a lot. Oil didn’t hit $100/barrel overnight back in 2008-2012.

That’s one of those words from my childhood that got used all the time and I haven’t been able to shake from my normal lexicon. It’s pretty embarrassing TBH, but for whatever reason it’s a blind spot for me and I use it without thinking.

In the last 24 hours, the Celtics went down 0-2 to a laughable Bulls team, Aaron Hernandez committed suicide, and Gronk yukked it up with a propaganda minister nobody respects.