Dancing is the worst. Yay, let’s gyrate to shitty music! I am self-aware enough to know I look stupid. Everyone does, including the “good dancers”. One of the best things about getting married is knowing you never have to dance again if you don’t want to.

Early stages of Alzheimer’s are no picnic either. MiL has it and she knows she is slipping away, forgetting shit already. Angry, confused and depressed. Lots of fun for the holidays.

I’m always amazed at people who get pushed in front of subway trains. I stand near a column, always look around, and brace myself as trains come in.

I think ALS has gotta be a lot worse than Alzheimers. After a while you’re so senile you don’t remember anything, and probably don’t realize how fucked you are. But imagine ALS - your mind is completely functional, but your body slowly stops working until you are locked prisoner inside it, and eventually you stop…

A lot of the things these employees fear sound pretty good. We might not provide free translation services for people trying to block development? Oh no, the horror!

I’m talking about the chronically unemployed and unemployable. Not the janitor having trouble making ends meet on his salary, or the seamstress whose company went out of business after 30 years who is having trouble getting another gig. The single mother with no skills and no intent on ever working. The very…

Ooooh, burn!

You wanna make a fortune? A sports/pop-culture site with no political slant. Deadspin alienates a substantial portion of their audience every day. The Ringer does, too. If I want to read about how stupid and awful and evil republicans are, I can go to every other website on the internet.

What we need to do is move people around. Why on earth are we subsidizing (or outright paying) rent for people in in-demand, expensive areas, when there are vast swaths of empty homes all over the country? New York City is paying a fortune to put people in hotels, apartments and what-have-you, while Rochester is…

The construction unions are completely out of control, and the government is afraid to build anything without them (at least in NYC). You have unskilled laborers making $60/hour plus benefits and most semi-skilled types at well over $100/hour. The work rules drive up costs even more. Add in “prevailing wage” laws…

Is that a thing?

The dipshit behind me planted trees 6" from my backyard fence. When they matured they would uproot my fence, wreck my shed, and blot out the sun in my entire yard all summer and fill it with leaves every fall. That is, they would if I didn’t Round-Up the shit out of them every night until they died, both times he…

I went looking at a house last year and the only reason I didn’t buy it was because the neighbor had an enormous boat in the driveway abutting the lawn of the property I wanted. It was on a stand looming like 20 feet high. It looked like shit and literally blocked the sun. So that homeowner certainly saw the…

How ‘bout the dickhole dog owners? The morons next door bought a dog and put it outside at 5:30 every morning. It would start barking at 5:40. They couldn’t understand why I felt this was unacceptable.

The nice part.

This is why Scott Walker is an American Hero.

“the 3 million immigrants with criminal records can be deported. We should work with the others and help them become citizens.”

I live in New York City. The Solons in charge have decided that anyone from anywhere in the world can sneak into New York and immediately lay claim to free housing. We in one of the most expensive locations in the world are literally obliged to provide a place to stay to anyone who declares himself to be homeless,…

Inappropriate use of cutlery is not limited to one side of the aisle. Look at this douche. When he was mocked for it he doubled down with a lot of gibberish about how “this is how my people in Italy actually eat pizza”. Oh, “your people”, Wilhelm?

I’d like to stab the guy who built my house with a tile floor in the kitchen. It’s hideous but too expensive to replace, the grout looks terrible, but most of all - everything you drop breaks. I dropped a huge Corelle bowl and it literally exploded. I found tiny shards for over a year. Same for Corningware.