The Terrace Tavern in Beach Haven in Long Beach Island, NJ. The wings are out of this world, I’ve never tasted anything like them. None of that Franks+butter crap, these are spicy,savory, a tiny bit sweet. Food of the Gods. I rarely ate anything else entire summer weekends the years I rented a summer house down…

My daughter ate her twin in utero. That was hardcore.

Because otherwise after a couple years you will have run out of things to talk about with your spouse. She’s heard all your stories twice, the sense of humor that initially attracted her now grates on her, and what were her cute little quirks while dating are now reasons to commit suicide.

It’s 2016. What the hell is “acting white”? Eating mayonnaise? Listening to Nickelback? Or is it having a nice job and family living in the suburbs? Because if you think that’s “acting white” and not just “being successful”, I feel sorry for you and your self-hatred.