It’s cute that you guys think you can dominate the world when you can’t even turn a doorknob in order to run away from the Roomba.

You can ALWAYS expect an upsurge in overweight Midwestern women in Winnie The Pooh embroidered overalls.

Betabrand?

I squeeze a half-lemon’s worth of juice into a tall glass, 12 ounces or larger, and fill it the rest of the way with water. The more water you can drink, the better, but it doesn’t have to be the lemon water every time.

You a doctor?

When I was about 14, I went shoe-shopping with the family. In sulky teenager fashion, I stayed on one side of the store while they were on the other. One of the sales associates came over to me and leaned on the doorframe, arm above his head. Being near Christmas, he trotted out his best line: “So, have you been a…

Interesting! My little sis and her wife drink lemon water for kidney stones, but I didn’t realize I should be doing it on a regular basis. That might be a good thing to do before having sexy-times, seeing as how that tends to be the trigger for most of my UTI’s.

It helps me. I squeeze half a lemon into a big glass, then fill it the rest of the way with water and chug that mofo. I keep doing this until the symptoms have subsided. I have fairly frequent UTI’s as well (lifelong diabetic), so this is my go-to. I couldn't tell you the mechanics of how it works, other than lemon…

I drink lemon water for UTI’s, but that is a WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL GAME from cancer. Then again, I haven’t had cancer yet, so... GASP! IT MUST WORK!!

You can pry my hideous clown-barf shoes out of my cold, dead, rigor-mortised hands!

She’s very different on it. Tony Hale is kind of more of the same. Still, it’s a good show.

Yes! It definitely needs to be toned down.

You're not alone. I have tiny lips and a ruddy complexion. :/

YES. We had nothing, were going through bankruptcy, and were only eligible for food stamps. That $200 per month was the literal difference between life and death for us until I found a much better job.

How about:

HOW DID I NOT KNOW DILDOLOGIST WAS A POSSIBLE PROFESSION??

The dildo would club 'er

Dammit, Carly! Now I HAVE to look.

I would be a big fan of your work if you did.