Can you imagine the SMELL??

I think you should probably just stop while you're way, way behind.

Large enough that men's fashion is more popular than plus size fashion.

Literally the only people I know that complain about this stuff are overweight women.

"Guffaw, I'm a dude so I automatically know more than you, and have no way of proving it it so I'll just scoff at you for being a dumb woman!"

So we can all finally agree that men do, in fact, give a shit about fashion? Yeah? Good. Moving on then...

Ahhh, gahd, THIS. Why can't you just trust that I'm right? You know I've been there, done that, and you fucking watched me do it, so when I say something, just fucking go with it!

Maybe be more concerned with the several hundred per month that goes to corporations, or the military-industrial complex? How about that?

Why does it never occur to you people that some of us just plain don't want to live forever? You don't have to be suicidal to be okay with dying. It's a natural part of life. Why would anybody want to keep on living past the point they can't wipe their own ass?

And it hasn't occurred to you that it's really none of your damn business? As an overweight woman, I'd like to be the first to say, FUCK OFF, I DON'T CARE. WHEN I DIE IS MY OWN GODDAMNED BUSINESS.

Right? SO much white wine to be had.

Eff those people. Like the Little Mermaid, I want to be part of that world.

If you're okay with adopting an entire state of Rob Ford's, that blood is on your hands, not mine. Madison is nice, though.

Tig, if you're reading, my apartment sucks but you can crash here as long as you want and I'll take care of you.

No, FUCK WISCONSIN. They know what they did.

come the dissolution of the 'States you'll just be absorbed into Manitoba

See? Americans and Canadians CAN get along! But I'm from Minnesota, which is pretty much Canada anyway...

Oh, I don't know. I always see PEI mussels at stores and on menus, I figured it was their "thing."

And shellfish!

Learn to appreciate the ridiculous. When that moment comes, the one where you look at your partner and wonder who the fuck this person is and why did you bring them home in the first place, you had better be prepared to laugh it off. Guaranteed, they've had that exact same moment and they're wondering what they're…