Haha, I'm not quite that bad.

<—I say this as a donut-lover

I'm short, chubby, and have been compared to a Troll doll more times than I can count. If I can find love, you can too.

Thanks! I realized I primarily use Twitter to yell at people...

THERE IS NO PENIS. THERE IS ONLY ZUL.

Also, it took getting his arm banged into SIX TIMES. I dunno, dude, maybe by by incident number two or three you learn to move your fucking arm out of the way? I mean, heaven forbid you take responsibility for your actions. Better to publicly blame it on fatties who dare to exist...

LAURAAAAAAAAAAA! Welcome back!

Looks like we'll be living forever!

What the actual fuck are you talking about?

That does cross into "TOO weird" territory. Good call.

You have three years to complete this assignment. The weirder, the better.

Required homework: Do this, and report your findings.

That's the only way anyone is comfortable in Wisconsin.

Straddle, turn on high.

Level up: handheld shower head, "massage" setting.

Yeah, "blackcock" isn't a very difficult guess, after all.

I'm not sure that excuses it...

I want to throttle him, but I feel like that's just proving his point. However, I'm not a "girl" anymore. I'm a full-grown adult woman with a hateful, VINDICTIVE mind. So...

HOW IS THIS NOT 24-HOUR-NEWS-WORTHY?

So pardon my naivete, where does one buy female condoms? I have never seen them at any drug store/retailer.