a waterlogged lump of edible clinical depression

There's nothing that pisses off my grandmother faster than the size of MO's butt. This, from a woman who's ass fills an entire recliner. Totally makes sense, Grandma....

Nonsense! If there's one thing dudes are concerned with, it's sperm.

Yay! Thanks, I didn't know about him. That's very cool.

Why thank you.

You know how in celebrity families there's the one family member they try to keep out f the limelight and under control, but the person ends up making a name for themself by saying and doing crazy stuff? Solange Knowles and LaToya Jackson are also examples of basement babies.

Best. Typo. EVER.

Chet Haze is quickly becoming my favorite basement baby. Jezebel needs to do a basement baby bracket one of these days.

Go to your room, Tina.

And they're all really nice guys...

This is exactly why I lick my cats. First, I'm getting it right from the source. Second, I'm building up immunity. I'll never get sick again, save for the occasional hairball.

What do you think it would take for someone to be a prominent bisexual man in America? I'm not being snarky, I'd really like to know what qualities you'd like to see in a potential role model.

Still, it's kind of funny to say "these guys exist, but they don't really count because of reasons." (Paraphrased, obvs.)

Billie Joe Armstrong proudly talks about his bisexuality, but he isn't necessarily someone I want representing me, for just so many reasons. Sorry, Connor Mertens, but a D-III kicker coming out as bi isn't exactly shaking the pillars of the Earth.

Isn't it always?

It's okay, I'm 32 and don't get it, either.

Thanks for contributing to feminism's bad name. Now it's your turn to piss off.

My heart belongs to Princess Monster Truck, the most metal of the internet cats.

No, but I would very much like to meet that person.