Ah, yes! Nothing says unity like “liquidating” an entire group of people. I never thought I’d have the chance to interact with the Liberal Steve Bannon, but it seems I now have. This interwebs thing sure is AMAZING!

It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.

Christ on a bendy bus! He’s as useless as a marzipan dildo!

As does his equation of himself with the “country.” He thinks he’s another Louis XIV — l’état, c’est moi. Of course, Louis XIV has been doing some tremendous things lately, which people are noticing more and more.

Is that an Illinois Nazi? ‘Cause I hate Illinois Nazis.

Yes, it seems like Pats fans are the ones who are very upset right now.

Could you please make a Harambe joke next? That would be super funny!

That hour and a half flight from Pittsburgh to Boston is going to a real grueling test of the Steeler’s mettle.

I wonder if you felt so strongly about these issues when you wrote that hand-wringing essay about how hard it was for you to decide whether to vote.

You know, I’ve looked and I’ve looked and I just can’t see anywhere in my comment where I said a single fucking thing about Hillary Clinton.

As the residents of Trumpistan are so fond of saying, she lost. Get over it. Focus on the short-fingered piss golem we’ve got to deal with now.

The exact opposite is actually true.

Maybe, just maybe, “check your privilege”is kind of a shitty thing to say to a person who’s trying to help and maybe, just maybe, alienating those people when generally they’re already on your side isn’t the best way to go about trying to further your cause.

THE COLOR GUARD IS COLORED

“We don’t want THE GOVERNMENT controlling businesses!”

*trump starts telling businesses what to do*

*CROWD HAS AN ORGY*

“I think it’s appropriate, and I think the things that we’ve done are appropriate...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA,” a black cape-wearing, smoke-wreathed Krzyzewski told ESPN’s terrified Jay Bilas while tenting his fingers.

I assume the back surgery is an exploratory procedure in which they’ll be looking for something resembling a spine.  

Victim: Help! I was raped by a police offic-
Republican: No you weren’t.

I’m looking forward to a half-dozen thinkpieces explaining to us mindless heathens why a one-game suspension was actually the harshest thing Coach K could have done, and how the punishment perfectly fit the crime. And if the results of his virtuous and morally-impeccable decision just happens to also be in the best…

Coincidentally, it was also the longest carry of the season for any KU player

Jaywalking ftw