“I sold my friend the drugs she used to overdose, and I went to prison, but I learned *sooo* much about myself in the process ❤️”

MAYYYBBEEE I’m just being bitchy today but this seems more like a humblebrag than an actual thing that happened.

Mrs. Murphy sounds like a racist bitch.

Moose caca?!

This is a reasonable and correct take and has no place in Kinja.

I’m fine with Bernie staying in the race to accumulate votes and show Democrats that there is broad, national support for a progressive agenda. I am not alright with him staying in the race in a desperate bid to win.

Bobby...

Aw thanks :)

No no no, he’s just the living embodiment of hate.

‘Surprise!’ I yelled. ‘Gender is a kind of imitation for which there is no original; in fact, it is a kind of imitation that produces the very notion of the original as an effect and consequence of the imitation itself!’ Cuteness overload.”

Feidin Santana: BAMF

This is why, as a Scorpio, I wonder about all this Cancer research. #AllSignsMatter

I would beg the Sorting Hat to put me in Tellerpenn

I think we all know the most reasonable solution: separate restrooms for conservative men.

I forgive her every single death because she gave me a beautiful parenting gift - my children will do anything I ask if they get points for Gryffindor. They get 50 points each for good bedtimes. My life is exponentially easier.

I really feel this is bad GM’ing, too short-term thinking. If I were running the Lakers, I’d think of throwing a pick or two Golden State’s way for that Curry fellow. Seems like the type of player that could become a star if under the bright lights of Los Angeles.

I have to admit this is pretty damn endearing.

“I’m just trying to make sure you’re not being harassed!” (As I stand outside the bathroom, waiting to harass you)