Is this supposed to be some sort of adoring gaze? My dog looks at me like this when I put him in the bathtub.

Really ? She is a woman who has been regurlarly stolen huge amouts of money by people manipulating her while she was in no state to see them for what they are.

Why is the cork on the fork?

My friends took me to Atlantic City one year for my birthday so I have tangible proof that they actually hate me and wish me harm.

I didn’t even think about it like that. Do my friends even LIKE me, jesus, last year one gave me a homemade birthday present.

I’ve been looking for a reason to be thankful that I’m not super rich and here it is. No one can steal my billions if I never have them. They are, however, welcome to enjoy my collection of Power Puff Girls DVDs. Probs worth tens of dollars.

My first daughter was conceived while my wife was using bupropion. She’s 12 now and perfect :)

That’s good to hear. I’m also on buproprion and I was really not looking forward to the possibility of going 9 months without it.

I’m putting this thing in my purse in case anyone has a headache and I can offer some Advil.

This was definitely a headline that gave me a major doubletake for a few seconds. Then I said “awwww” and all was right with the world.

At one point, I was doing some pro level flora/fauna fostering in my reef tank. Those blue rings were available for purchase but I wouldn’t touch them with a 10 foot net. There’s pro and there’s stupid. I can’t believe they were even being made available to the public without any kind of credentials. There are NO…

Hmmm.. I smell fear. I sense reluctance. Reluctance to comment. People waiting, peeking in, to see who commented, what was said, about what part, parts. Maybe I shouldn’t be here either. Shit.

So..... how about that Google I/O ??? : )

i saw this on twitter and i dont think i’ll ever be the same

Fucking Platapus’! Even their cute little weirdo animals are bloody poisonous!

I can’t image any player will have a four-year stretch like Bonds had from 2001 to 2004. The stats, which are otherworldly, really don’t do justice to how fucking amazing he was during that time and how much of an impact he had on games.

Oh my God, thank you. I thought I hallucinated this happening.

The candidate I worked for is running again.

Why not both all three? How about an old man ninja boyfriend for hire? Butler suit optional.