Oh, sure. And next you’ll tell me that the pitcher didn’t take a few of those GMA dollars and groove one nice and fat for ol’ Timmy. Pull this leg and it plays Jingle Bells.

Didn’t see it, so not sure how Ramsey figured he’d beaten Smith “physically and psychologically,” if Smith went 8-87 and won the game. But still, he has some top-shelf style. “I don’t care how old he is ...” That’s no rookie.

“it would have been too much to have Norman shadow Brown because of how much the Steelers like to move Brown around.”

LOVE what West Ham did with that 2-0 lead. That’s Hammer Football!

Gosh, I’m sure this is totally unrelated, but who pays the Unaffiliated Neurotrauma Consultant, anyway?

I remember watching him at Cal — fine college career, sure — and being absolutely floored to hear he was going to be the No. 1 pick. Certainly never looked the part, and I figured that well, maybe the pros had seen something the rest of us hadn’t. But I obviously forgot we weren’t talking about the pros. We were…

It’s not “way back” if you can screengrab it. Show me your handwritten roster with stats written to the side that you meticulously transcribed from the Wednesday edition of USA Today. Now, if you need me, I’ll be destroying the basement in search of mine. (Spoiler Alert: Eric Davis.)

“Redounded.”

Naw, but this is gonna be fine.

While it may seem tone-deaf to those who would like to characterize covering the Olympics as an “all-expenses-paid, three-week trip” to Brazil, it is no vacation, to be sure. Those reporters are up all but 24/7, generally subsisting on coffee and whatever shit food actually is provided — generally at a criminally high…

And for the first time in recorded history, somebody complains about not having access to a McDonald’s.

Nice list, just a bit out of order.

Fucking prima donnas. Showerheads are for pussies.

Sammy Sosa rubs chin, nods approvingly.

1. You have kids.

To be fair, Kirby is sooooo boring.

Somewhere, Chris Elliott just got a whiff of his big comeback roll.

He may have a point. It’s the adults at Baylor that are uniformly awful.

Also: Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Wayne Gretzky, Babe Ruth, Joe Montana, Tiger Woods and Jim Brown. Oh, and fucking Pele. Goddamn those guys were slackers.