I don't really see a good way to do this that doesn't involve using the grapevine. Your other option is a small registry of a few housewares - people will probably figure out that you dont' need much stuff and will give you money.

Yeah...no. People always think their poems asking for money somehow soften the fact that they're asking for money. They don't. It still looks gauche.

Ewwww yeah, I would be annoyed too. This is the problem with asking for money for anything - people will have opinions about how you spend it (not criticizing you - I would totally feel the same way). Gifts should be freely given without obligation or request.

What about outdoor stuff if you guys hike/bike? Or luggage?

The general etiquette rule is that registry information is "pull" information, not "push." It's ok on the website, because people have to go to the website and look for or "pull" the information. It's not ok to push out the information in an invite.

But it's a shower. She's asking friends to throw her a CASH SHOWER.

Um, tell her to fuck right off. You don't ask your friends to throw you a shower - they offer. And if you're having an out-of-town shower, then you bring an empty suitcase or people ship the gift to your house and give you a picture/printout of it.

Good god no. Your aunt is totally wrong. You don't invite people to showers if they're not invited to the wedding! WTF! Decline the invitation and send a nice card when they get married. WTF.

I hate registries but I have accepted them as a necessary evil.

"Is it terribly tacky to ask for cash in invites? My first instinct is that it absolutely is, but maybe I am just not with the times."

I think in NY "apartment" is synonymous with "condo"

It's an issue of tradition. People traditionally gave household items to help you start a household and life together. So when I make Mr. McRosie a pot roast I can remember how Aunt Helen so thoughtfully picked out the casserole. I actually really like that tradition.

You should recognize though that there's a generational split on that. Older folks probably want to get you a gift. Younger folks might be happy with a honeyfund. Have something for everyone. Hell, we registered for camelbaks and outdoor stuff along with dishes and glassware and whatnot. Our friends our age will love…

Sorry, but your mom is right. If you can't afford your vacation, you shouldn't crowdfund it. If you truly don't need/want anything, then tell people you don't want gifts. But a lot of people really WANT to get you nice things for your married life together - surely you can find a few items to register for and send…

Holy crap is that awful. I thought the invite to a destination wedding I got that said "cash gifts are appreciated" ON THE INVITE was bad. But yours is way worse. Oh god people are just the worst.

ewww. I felt squirrelly as hell putting a Vitamix on the registry, but my future MIL kept telling me to put a few higher end things on there. I was like "but it's $400!" and she finally said "look, we have some older friends who are coming and they are loaded and love to give expensive gifts, so just do it." Alrighty!

I thought at first I didn't want to register either, but my mom and future MIL really encouraged me too and I'm glad I did. We've upgraded the old chipped dishes, gotten a proper set of good knives, proper cookware, and it's great. I love to cook so I really appreciate all of it.

If you truly don't need anything, why not just send out the word that you don't want gifts? Because there's really very few circumstances where asking for cash won't look a bit...iffy.

There's a word for this: panhandling.

We're seeing Newsies on Broadway for mine. Just had to share that again because I'm so excited!