Has this guy been taking "chatting up women" lessons from Jeff from Coupling?

I knew a girl in grad school who was married, and one night she told me that when she met her future husband, he lived in a two story house and spent most of his time downstairs, but the only bathroom was upstairs.

"[Firth] has a briefly seen, occasionally mentioned fiancée named Olivia (Catherine McCormack), who is a fellow skeptic and an intellectual peer, meaning that she has no chance with him."

That's mortifying, don't get me wrong, but it's also kind of a nice story. Good to hear that sometimes cops are cool, both in that they made sure she was ok and let you get back to bidness after.

I think you're more than a little awesome for walking out like that.

Oh man. I'm probably late to the party but this one still stands out for me after many, many years of fulfilling and great sex. It is the single cringe-iest (if that's a word) moment I can think of during sex acts.

I definitely take the cake on this one. That time that I nearly lost my virginity. I was 16, first real boyfriend that sexy times were involved with and we'd been together a year and done almost everything except PIV sex. So this one morning he took me shopping and the youths that we were, we couldn't keep our hands…

This story is mostly awkward for my sister (who was in no way involved in the actual sex if that's what you perverts are getting at)

The last story reminds me of the time I was a senior in high school and had my boyfriend over. My mom was out with her friends so I mean, obviously we were trying to get it on. Then my mom comes home wasted and decides it's a good time for mother/daughter bonding...while my boyfriend is hiding under my bed so we don't…

Early on in my last relationship I discovered my boyfriend liked to have his nipples touched. One night we were getting going in the dark and I felt around for his right nipple. He sort of stiffened and I thought maybe I wasn't making the sort of contact he liked so I whispered something like 'tell me what you like'…

I was on the phone, with my PARENTS, and my girlfriend had the devious idea to distract me with a blow job. I don't think that she knew I was talking with my folks...at least I hope not. It worked obviously. I was super distracted. I considered stopping her, but BJ's aren't common occurrences, so I tried to wrap up…

One time I was with a dude for the first time and right in the middle of fucking he half-shouts "WHOSE PUSSY IS IT?!"

Many years ago I was a virile 17-year-old with an equally enthusiatic 16-year-old girlfriend.

I'll give you awkward. It, of course, involves being a teenager.

I had a guy stop in the middle of doin' it doggie-style, pull his pants back up and say, as he walked out my front door, "I'm sorry. I'm used to fucking strippers and this isn't working for me." He was referring to my pubic (and probably bum) hair, which he had already made several comments about. I am fair and even…

A guy I saw in college had problems with taking sleeping pills (for fun) and then not being able to perform because he was so out of it. This was very annoying. One time he gave up and started using his fingers, but he was so damn quiet and mechanical in bed that I could practically hear dust rolling across the floor.…

Well, there was the time I sprained my hip and accidentally golden showered all over a hot guy during morning sex.

I think everyone with pets has a similar story.

I was kind of seeing this dude I worked with, and after a few dates we ended up in my room. We start making out, he's on top of me and when we french kiss, his tongue basically flops dead fish style into my mouth and stays there. Not moving. Trying to make the best of a bad kiss I get on top of him and jam my hand…

YES, WE WANT EVERYONE TO DIE.