Wait, wait, don't tell me: it's because they all want to look like beautiful White people?

That's not a quote from an actual, published, edited book is it?? The apostrophes are killing me.

Aaa! I don't care if being a zookeeper is 99% poop— I want to raise some tiger babies!!!

Magnum bars— drool!

@youvegotredonyou: You're welcome!

Excellent. I'm really going to relish the next 6 1/2 hours of my reign.

I love how the logo is just like, "Ker-splat! Jam Sponge!" As if at the end of a hard day of a lady-bleeds, you just reach on up, grab your menses-sodden Jam Sponge, and fling it at the wall as you toss your head back and laugh with insouciance. Ker-splat! Jam Sponge!

@mbprice: I really like thistle and naught.

@thatgirljj: I followed your link and am reading her blog now. She sews things and bedazzles her underwear? And she can write? Sign me up!

@mbot: (I have yet to embed an image or video successfully in the new Gawker.)

Chris, I'll see your Leftover Witchand raise you a Leftover Lady.

@peon47: Me too!!

Up next on Fox: New evidence proves Obama's ties to Somali pirates.

If she really were Kate-orexic, how could her hair be sooooooo shiny? Come on!

Thank god it's not Willow Smith.

Invisible Man should contact Microsoft's Polish division. I'm sure they could mock something up for him.

That trailer needed much, much, much more Sam Rockwell.

Of course! We'll all bake cornbread together and name our dolls "Chevrolet."

Best of wishes, from Nosmo King, Picky-Picky, and Uncle Hobart.

I love this part: