Those cats look so smart. It's like when you hear a baby speaking French...

@lass sivius: The silk pajamas were almost enough to make me feel okay about seeing Omar in a convenience store.... "Honey nut" helped a lot, too, though!

@GinaRomantica: Oh my god. I am so, so, so sorry. That is beyond terrible. I have to fly with my cat far too often, and this is horrifying me.

Those fuckers.

@Ksenia: The image of you trying to dry off a wet cat under an airport bathroom hand dryer— too much! I've had to fly with my cat far too many times over the past years, and she *always* seems to pee in her carrier before we get on he first flight (very familiar with the suspicious taxi cab smell!). Instead of the…

@DonnaPirana: I think you mean, "Das Kapitalism for you"!

My cat is not super good at this. She always ends up with water droplets all over her little forehead. It's even cuter when she drinks my cereal milk, since the aforementioned aforehead is black.

@ceilidh: I'm on the Lego Diet. Zero calories, and they really give you that full feeling.

@liz.lemonade: Really??!! Aw. Somehow, knowing this will make it that much easier for me to fall asleep at night.

Almost as amusing as the blurry Photoshop bikinis that they use whenever Showgirls is on cable! Almost.

Kelly, instead of opting for painful laser removal, just add a cat to your arm. You don't have to know how to play the piano to show the world how much you love keyboard cat!

@MsWhatsit: Not just any sex worker jokes— exotic Asian sex worker jokes! So it's extra funny!

@iblamethesnake: Hee, I went on a Sound of Music tour when I was in Salzburg. It was awesome.

@through the rye: My eyes are up h— oh, wait...

@cpalutsis: It might take longer. I had always heard that, "oh, once I got to college, I got along so much better with my sister/mom/dad/etc." But college isn't a magical cure-all. It took me some years post-college to get there, but "there" is now a very happy place.

@ifoughtthelaw: I think Jillian would destroy this woman, and happily.

I'll be there when you are, Veronica. Make it happen!

@etchmiadzin: Hey, it's never too early to start teaching our children that women's bodies are dirty and shameful! "S" is for slut-shaming!

@chicaferoza: Opening shot of a dark paneled library, with a crackling fireplace, a glass of port, and many leather-bound volumes.

@alchematrix: My apartment was broken into once, and I found the door slightly ajar when I got home. My first thought as soon as I realized what had happened was to worry if the cat had got out and was now wandering around alone outside somewhere, but the poor thing was huddled under the bed. She barely likes it…