@FrabjousDay: My pet peeve: "between you and I." Cringe!!!

I effing hate the preemptive "let's do it now, before things might possibly go bad!" break up. I know here it's a long distance situation, which changes the game; but still. A lot of the words in this email have been spoken to me far too many shitty times.

@embarcadero13: Like in The Sound of Music! Maria was right!

Whatever happens... do not tip your waitress.

@MakeFetch: If she's been all tied up, who's been giving her those stylish updos, hmm? Oh, Franklin!

@aleekza: Totally amazing. Have you seen her HBO Jessica vlogs? Hopefully she'll get some more story soon?

@Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka: I'm just glad he's stopped seeing bullet holes in people's foreheads!

@thisisnotkathy: For me, it's acne scars, but same end result. I never thought I would be one of those women who had to "put her face on," but ever since I learned how much better my face can look with some foundation (mineral, so it doesn't seem as bad for your skin), I am unable to feel okay about going without. …

@Snowbunny: Also, this makes your good pants last longer and reduces the likelihood of staining them while you're eating in bed.

Hahaha, I think the UPS guy just saw my nipples earlier today. They come and go so quickly, no way was I going to chance taking the time to put on a bra!

Question about lipstick like that: how does it not get all over your teeth?

@Girl-With-A-Pearl-Earring: Email one more time, casually. Maybe on the pretense of sending him a link that you think he might like or something.

@Wandell: Aww, that's great!

@bookling: The first time I saw it, I was brushing my teeth, and I caught a glimpse of something moving across the wall in the mirror———- exactly like in a horror movie. shudder.

@i'vemadeahugemistake: I know. You read all of those OkC blog posts about how girls are the ones receiving all the messages and no one ever contacts guys, but not in my case! I think all but one or two of my interactions have been initiated by me, and the vast majority of messages I receive (which aren't that many)…

@reallyred: Ooo, that enrages me to no end. O RLY, 32-year-old man? You think you have more in common with a 19-year-old than (gasp!) a 33-year-old woman? WTF.

@reallyred: You too? I think it can go in phases as new people sign up (summer love!), but I've definitely done the reverse search, and hot damn, there are so many more cute girls to choose from! Not fair!

@ManofReason: oo, um, maybe?

@bookling: I'm in a similar situation except with a GIGANTIC HOUSE CENTIPEDE. In my bathroom. Want to never feel safe in the world again? Google-image "house centipede."

@fridaphile is tequila's momma: I got one last week that said: