I start all my flirtatious e-mail exchanges with "I don't have the clap," actually. I have a macro.

I think it's really important to remember that when Republicans talk "equal opportunities, not based on the color of your skin," they're usually complaining that African-Americans get too much free stuff, or that anti-discrimination laws policies discriminate against white people.

I think Hanz and Franz just figured out who they're endorsing his year!

Actually, at this moment, the point seems to be that Gizmodo has been overrun by humorless pricks.

Anonymous is a hydra, cut off one head and we grow two back.

So, what, if Santorum wins he spends the next four years saying "It was The Muslim's fault?"

The Santorum doll's action feature could have been a lot worse.

The only "survival manual" I own is an old Civil Defense manual about preparing fallout shelters. (Found it at my grandparent's house.) If somebody nukes us, 1960s style, I'm good. Otherwise, I'm totally screwed.

It does look like a lot of the "revealed" addresses are fake. Searching the list for .gov addresses finds addresses at bogus agencies like "flesh.gov" and "fake.gov".

Sometimes, they do: [www.lamebook.com]

Found eleven accounts from my (large) employer, but none from my department. There goes my chance of getting a big raise this year!

Apparently, Jezebel deleted the video I posted: [www.youtube.com]

Your attempted high-mindedness there is so completely misguided, that I'm just going to Godwin it and move on.

In all fairness to reality, there's no fucking way Palin knew the Queen had such a title. Anything Palin knows about royalty, she probably learned from Disney movies.

I believe their logic is "it will scare slutty girls enough to stop them from stealing our precious bodily fluids."

A reptile small enough to fit in a human skull can't be very smart... but it's probably still smarter than Rick Santorum.

...and it just keeps coming! Today, Santorum's spokeperson referred to Obama's energy policy and belief in global warming as "radical Islamic policies!"

Maybe she made up the part about going to school with Tebow, and RAF is just too dumb to figure out the contradiction?

I don't think that profile photo is going to help with his "I'm not creepy" defense.

No, but they think that if you're impregnanted by a white guy, doctors will be afraid to perform an abortion that could get them sued by that white guy.