Man, I had to read this column with pot holders

Look, if the Bible tells us anything, it's that God is a fan of bringing a variety plagues on exploited, over-taxed, starving citizens for weeks on end.

Am I the only one who thinks that it looks like Goodell pissed his pants in that picture?

My take as someone whose officiated.

I'm pretty sure Cowherd's tombstone will prominently feature him giving Tom Brady a under the table hand job.

The NFL is becoming a hybrid of the WWE and the NBA. If the NFL cares so deeply about air pressure in footballs, then maybe they should be in full control of all game balls. Don't leave a 2 hour window for teams to play around with the balls.

OMFG, the couple friends. I mean, seriously, I love the hell out of my wife but could she have just one single fking friend at her book club or her work or her whatever whose husband wasn't both a) making 5x what I do and b) completely unfamiliar with sports? I mean, at least if he's a rich d-bag who likes sports we…

"If you're into just letting things happen, mannnnnnn, prepare for shit to actually happen."

Freezer Burrito Alex is an American hero.

To help prevent Rodgers from getting caught, Mike McCarthy takes the air out of the ball at the end of the game.

This isn't anything new. After Super Bowl XXV, Scott Norwood kept shaking his head and muttering "God hates FGs".

Maybe like a week in one of those super humane Nordic prisons, but American? 0.

Easy. Zero.

I had the same reaction at his age when my mom said I couldn't accept free tickets to Penn State football games anymore.

I worked in Champs Sports, in the Chicago suburbs when the Bears went to the Super Bowl.

New Englanders are the Southerners of the Northeast.

South Boston is a lot like the actual South...

New England is loaded with white trash.

4:09=shower time.