He's a deeply corrupt man succeeding in a deeply corrupt organization. The NYT is missing the point, asking us to hate the player, and not the game.

Roger Goodell's just waiting to make his statement until Classy Bob Kraft tells him what to think.

Investigated and cleared. Though it is louder when the Niners come to town because their mongoloid fans are usually shanking people and there's a lot more screaming.

Page two of the letter: "Be sure to take an active Duke player out to dinner and take lots of selfies and photos of the meals. Use the hashtag #ImproperBenefit often. I will bury Coach K even from beyond the grave."

About the Browns: "the violation of the rule and the integrity of the rule is not necessarily whether you got an advantage or not."

Patriots and Ravens fuck up: Shred the evidence, slap on the wrist. Owners grandstand and demand apologies from the commish.

Dude, it's Microsoft. You really want the Blue Screen of Death appearing every time there's a close endzone call?

It's 183 people now, and it's less a reflection on the joke and more a reflection of how many, many people think Classy Bob Kraft and his organization are full of douchebags.

He makes personnel moves with all the subtlety of a Crystal Meth-tweaking fantasy football owner.

The rings they like to hand out to Russian dictators in exchange for business favors?

They'll come back together in 20-30 years to do the housefrau tour and make tons of $$$, just like New Kids On The Block did! (Christ, why didn't that ever end?)

The Ginger Hammer must've "forgotten" to shave down there before the trip to Arizona. PK is just getting rid of some excess red hairs stuck in funny places.

Looks like Classy Bob's Crew is going to have to go find another way to manipulate the rule book.

If Roger Goodell ran MLB:

"How come we never tried this to get Kawakami fired at the Merc?"

Didn't the Jets get the memo? According to Commissioner Slumber Party, "Classy" Bob Kraft and the Patriots are always allowed to tamper with things.

Johnny U in Indy?

"I was going to walk on the other side of John Clayton's liveshot, but Darrell Bevell told me he had a better idea."

"I become more and more jealous that I am not a Warriors fan with each passing day."

Other team's GMs when the Vikings call to gauge interest in trading for AP: