Adrian Peterson's children: We want to stop being hit with sticks.

I guess it has a roof to keep out the world-famous bitter-cold shitty LA weather?

Look on the bright side: his children got the night off from having the shit beat out of them.

Even the over-sheltered Starbucks executives living in Medina and Magnolia heard from their well-heeled neighbors how tone-deaf an idea this was.

Sends email bragging about how smart he and his people are.

Oregon: or as Seattle and California call it, Flyover Country.

Better yet, can countries just start pulling out of FIFA and start over? Say, if the U.S., Mexico, Brazil, England, France, Spain, Germany, and Japan just bolt tomorrow, leaving Sepp holding the bag?

Weren't you guys telling us to root for Iowa State two days ago? The Deadspin Kiss of Death is so strong that Mike Greenberg would like you to stop working his side of the street.

Why didn't you put out a press release when you hired Bill Simmons?

And somehow, Mike McCarthy would still come away with only three points.

Well, Jim Moore isn't because as he likes to say, he's an old school Coug who just wants to go to a bowl game every 20 years or so and never try anything different... Just keep hiring the Special Teams Associate Coordinatee from Kerplackel State, that's all us Cougs need! Derp.

"The 49ers have the right to recover three-fourths of that signing bonus, though, it's not clear if they will do so."

We're happy to have him at Washington State, but if you watched our defense last year, you could totally excuse the amount of "fucks" in that clip.

Is he no longer a fan of brands monetizing things on the backs of people who aren't getting paid? Someone check to see if he's running a temperature.

For a guy who shit on Rick Reilly a lot, Simmons sure turned into him quickly.

This is the worst episode since Cliff Clavin's infamous 1986 appearance.

Missed it by 5 minutes. Well done.

These are scholars. Everyone has opinions. I'm talking about how things are actually applied. If the understanding is that you can be booted for "code of conduct" violations, then that's how it goes.

Under the influence of then-Governor Ronald Reagan, who fired a University President that refused to impose the discipline he wanted, Cal-Berkeley expelled numerous students who protested the Vietnam War, including ringleader Mario Savio

I'm sure the details of the "investigation findings" need to be worked out over several more dinner parties at Classy Bob Kraft's house with his puppet, I mean, the Commish.