This immediately came to mind (I'm hoping this works/passes the new video criteria):

Schuab looks like he's coming to let you know he did 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an 8 year-old.

Ballmer has the opposite of a Midas touch. He was a terrible leader at MS. They day he retired there were parties all over Seattle and Redmond, with MS employees celebrating heartily. Then he bought the damn Clippers and way overpaid for them, so much so, Seattle will never in a million years get an NBA team. Two…

As a San Diego resident who doesn't give a flying fuck about the NFL all I can really say is this. It's all true, this city sucks. Don't bother coming here, just stay in whatever awesome Midwest town you grew up in. And for god damn sure don't move here from Boston. You won't like it. For real, don't move here. …

It took a massive backlash for them to realize they're dumb? I'm starting to think ESPN and the NFL are run by the same people.

thank you Mitch Albom

I know, right? Granted, I didn't quite go full Easterbook and pull out the imaginary notebook...

"Taking questions over Twitter is an excellent idea! What can go wrong?"

That's what she sounds like when there's no teleprompter.

Since when have religious types ever had any self awareness?

Sponsored by and for Crackers!

Oh you're one of those people excusing Stewart of his murder. I have one thing to say to people like you:

Drug dealers in St. Louis play "the game" the right way!

I believe the sanctions against USC were the beginning of the end for the NCAA. At the time, most people outside USC thought the sanctions were tough but fair. But then as subsequent, worse infractions came to light (e.g. Ohio State, Miami, Cam Newton, etc.), the NCAA quickly began to look feckless as it couldn't do…

Easy dude, it's not like he's a St. Louis Cardinal.

Good. The NCAA can eat shit.

They could do this whole talking to actual Native people, but I suggest they check out this super informative website: http://www.redskinsfacts.com/

Toyota is the perfect sponsor for Red Zone offense, because no matter what you try, they're unstoppable.

I'd like to see the numbers on which articles generate more new burners. Redskins or Why Your Team Sucks. There's a Regressing article waiting to happen.