Oh no, that’s so adorable! It’s like your cat is Kate Winslet after the Titanic sinks and is waiting around for the rescue boats.

As Tim Gunn would say, “I’m seeing a young Boy George. Is that what you’re going for? Because it’s not working for me. [Clap clap] Get to work people, you’ve only got one more day to show us your best!”

I had a similar experience when news broke that the Spice Girls were breaking up. I had no idea who they were, being a childless adult. But coincidentally I flew over to London at that time and you couldn’t get away from them. The music was played everywhere you went. The newspapers, even the serious ones like the…

It is ridiculous. Chicago is part of Cook County. They have some of the toughest gun control laws in the country. Their gun-related murder rate is second to none. Why? Once you leave the county you’re in jurisdictions with much looser gun laws. Go north and you’re in Wisconsin, where everyone seems to hunt, or at…

I’m a big Sanders fan (what’s not to like about a Jewish Socialist from Brooklyn?) but he happens to represent the whitest state in the Union. Alaska has the Inuits and his neighbor New Hampshire has some spillover Black folks from Massachusetts and Hispanic migrant laborers. He probably hasn’t had to deal much with…

Every time I read about Trump moving up in the polls my testicles undescend.

Why are people doing this? (Religious conviction, of course.)

Go along with your grandfather and choose the Patriots. There’s so much to discuss that’s not football-related. Bob Kraft and his recent romantic history. How hot Rob Gronkowski is, why he’s not married yet, and which Las Vegas pool party he’s recently shown up at. Tom Brady: deflategate alone will take you through…

When I got laid off several years ago career counseling was part of the severance package. I told the counselor I didn’t really want to go back to the corporate world and I thought I could strike out on my own. I hadn’t joined Facebook then and he advised me not to, because you have to “curate” your professional…

My black Lab beast is an excellent hound. He likes to stretch out on the bed, next to me, so I can rub his chest. When fully stretched out he’s almost as tall as I am (6’ 4”) so he puts his forelegs on my shoulders and his hindlegs reach to shin level.

I have not yet read the comments related to your post, I’m sure they’re full of valuable insights. Here are mine.

Oh you live in LA! I envy you. I love LA, I’ve commented about this before. I have tons of friends who live out there. A Great Dane mix, good for you. I have a black Lab mix puppy who weighs about 75 pounds so I’m constantly walking him around my neighborhood and into all the parks we have here. He’s quite the…

You should move to New York, or at least Manhattan. When we have parties I always have the wine and liquor delivered (for free, but I tip generously). When I do occasionally wander into the local wine store to stock up I bring my dog, who is not a service animal, and they love dogs and have treats under the counter…

I can confirm this! We used to spend a lot of time in LA in the early aughts and I always demanded that we stay somewhere fairly walkable, so it was usually Hollywood or West Hollywood or Beverly Hills. I used to go to that newsstand at ridiculously early hours because of East Coast jet lag and there she’d be. I miss…

Which one of the guys was supposed to be the hot one? Because they’re all giving off this very Josh Duggar-like vibe. Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew.

I am a gay guy. I guess I am a bisexual guy because before I settled down with the guy I’ve been married to for years I used to sleep with women. We used every form of contraception known. Before I strapped on the condom I used to say, “You know the condoms aren’t foolproof and if you get pregnant I don’t think you’re…

My mother-in-law is his age (84) and is sharp as a tack. My sister’s father-in-law is 91 and living in his own suburban house and drives around and is fine. There will come a day (and I probably won’t see it, because of my prodigious use of alcohol) when centenarians will be commonplace.

And among the rest of them, didn’t they have enough cash to pay for this? If Grandpa is willing to write a check in 2015 I’m guessing the rest of them aren’t relying on applepay.

Did you know that when Sign Language was created centuries ago it was thought that it might be a universal language? Sort of like Esperanto, which came about in the 19th century. Unfortunately like all languages it has its variants, especially when you’re spelling out the words, and different gestures mean different…

Did your mother have hopes that you’d marry a member (no pun intended) of the British Royal Family? Because otherwise I think it’s been a very long time since men assumed (or wanted) a wife who was a virgin.