Devos’ history textbooks will teach our kids that Tyler Durden freed the slaves diligent laborers, and we all lived happily ever after.

I guess come December, there won’t be an airing of Greifances at the Taggart Festivus?

Can any of them play offensive line

This isn’t all that novel. In fact, I used to date a girl who could also put her legs behind her head.

My 79-year old grandma had a hole in one a few years ago, Trump. You’re not special.

You sound upset about something small from many years ago.

It’s the Internet, you can curse here

Kellyanne Conway confirmed that Trump is a great golfer. In fact, she referred to his last win as The Putting Green Masacre.

Just a sampling of how many times that out of shape shitgibbon bitched about Obama golfing.

“Trump, who is extremely good at golf”

Do they not have tacos in Argentina?

4. Has Ben Affleck ever met an autistic person?

It was undoubtedly the rich guy and, without any suggestion or coaching by my attorney, I also want to say that I am 99% certain that he was acting within the scope of his duties as an employee such that his employer, who happens to have a ten-figure net worth, may be liable for his actions.

Now, tell me again—was it this man with an 8-figure net worth who hit you, or his broke-on-paper friend?

NFL doctors agree the two men are not suffering from concussions.

“I knocked both of these motherfuckers out! Both of them! They both sleep! Shut up before I knock your ass out next!”

Favre dick jokes are always a good way to Jenn up interest.

Man, Favre sends pictures of his dick to everybody.

Edited from the final copy: