“You broke my mirror? This is the kristallnacht of white genocide!”

Are we sure he didn’t also shout, “I VOTED FOR TRUMP! STOP DISCRIMINATING! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAAAAAIN!!!” before disintegrating into a puddle of white tears? Because that seems to be the thing to do these days...

I am shocked...SHOCKED, I say, that something this classless would occur in the parking lot of a Hooters.

Todd is everyone’s shitty step-dad.

I would like to see this dramatized, with Sir Patrick Stewart playing the role(s) of emojis.

I wouldn’t be so sure. If we’re talking about the recent Revis coverage, really anyone could be behind it.

This is such bullshit. The Athletics are only a “large market” team if you judge the size of the market by the number of people in the area compared to other markets.

I’ve always contended he looks like Krang’s robot body from the original Ninja Turtles cartoons.

Richie Incognito’s Iroquois name is Blabbering Dipshit.

Dances With Wolves taught me that shitty white people make the best Native Americans

Football is a violent game but it’s still just a fucking game. Do you know how big of a piece of shit you have to be to get kicked off of Nebraska? Lawrence Phillips couldn’t do that.

It’s ok Tom, Destination Cleveland already has all the promotional materials they need, so the budget can go to other purposes:

Once again, New York finds a way to barge into Philly discussions.

Laugh if you want, but replace “power forward” with “rich billionaire” and you get the governing ethos of the Trump administration.

Hinkie probably also also used route optimization software to eliminate point guards who can shoot, shooting guards who can shoot, and players named “Antetokounmpo” and “Porzingis” when considering potential draftees, because sometimes you just know.

I mean, I guess I understand the argument for not spending any time deciding what you’re going to wear if you want to stretch it...but do you need 25 fucking identical blazers to accomplish the task? It’s not like they’re power forwards who can’t play out of position.

At first I thought watching a game backward didn’t make a lot of sense. Then I realized it’s just another perspective. And from that perspective every game ends in a tie. And then I thought, why not draft another power forward?