Mavs now questioning his defense.

Eastern Conference Promises

Gabe, is why I don’t play professional basketball. Too many people out to get you.

No contusion!

Even though he’s 7’3, that’s no excuse to film in Portrait Mode 

If a vapist takes a “vape break” in a forest and no one is around to hear him does he still sound like an insufferable dork?

Donald Trump has his own personal helicopter. It’s called “Hairwolf”

Nothing pissed me off more than when I make the perfect solder connection only to realize I forgot to put the heat shrink on first

11.4% of people are fucking retarded.

The New York Post covered this story this morning, but their headline said: Typical Millennial Asks For A Free Ride

Meekly-Built Mother’s latest E.P., The Child With The Broken Arm, soars to the top of the indie charts.

I broke my arm when I was 13. When they took off the cast, my tendons had healed a little too tight. I found out that I could throw a baseball incredibly fast. I got signed to a major league team and did really well closing out games. I eventually reinjured my arm later in the season and had to retire. But I’ll always…

Not pictured: Little girl’s father with dick tucked between legs.

Is it bad that I opened this article, excited for there to be new content for Portal 2 ?

USA Swimming announced today that, due to a violation of the organization’s Code of Conduct, The Joker (Gotham City, NJ) will be suspended from USA Swimming-sanctioned competition for six months, withdraw from the 2016 FINA World Championships Team and forfeit his funding from the NGB for six months.

ARRESTING OFFICER: Names?

RUT-ROH!

Oh no! You foiled Univision’s secret branding caper! They’d have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling commenters and your cannabis-addled talking dog

You just described “Yankees fans” and “Mets fans”, respectively.