I don’t think that John Cusak trying to summon the courage to hit on you makes him an asshole.

Bless your heart.

Not even a petty celebrity story, but it’s the only one I have, so I’ll share it since it’s super awkward:

I stayed at a hotel in San Antonio when the Suns were playing the Spurs in the playoffs. The night before the game I was in the hotel bar, and Mike Breen, Jon Barry and Jeff Van Gundy,were who was televising the game for ESPN, were at the other table. Van Gundy got a phone call, and he just started yelling into the…

Just how tight was this ski suit?

This one time, Jimmy Fallon was on TV.

Michael Bay used to (maybe still does) shoot car commercials in between his bad movies for extra $.

Okay, so this is kind of the opposite, and it happened to a friend of mine. But:

A few years back, my friend is driving along North Avenue in Milwaukee, middle of the winter. She looks over at the sidewalk, and there is an extremely tall black man booking it down the sidewalk. Like, seriously sprinting. And he has…

I’m sure he was thinking “Goddamn, it was so much easier when the teams I’ve worked for already had the best player in the league on the roster when I took the job.”

This is what 2016 has done to me: when I stumble across a politics article, god help me, it’s now almost a relief to see it be about Ted Cruz.

And to think, they’re not even the most empowered group of wizards in Washington.

In other words, presidents do things for reasons, so what the fuck does it matter what those reasons are? Makes complete sense.

Sale and Price in the same rotation - just in time for the holiday shopping season.

Look at all the histrionics there!

To bring attention to mental health awareness, Ndamukong Suh wore cleats with other NFL players imprinted on them.

At one point, Cousins can be heard shouting, “Hey, the nigga was trying to choke Matt, I hit the shit out this nigga!”

What?

Yahoo commenters are somehow making this about the national anthem.

A Rage in Harlem called, Cam, it’s missing an extra playing a bouncer at a gin mill.

There is not excuse for being poorly dressed, windsor knot.