I’m not convinced he says or does anything at all when the cameras aren’t on. He just sits there unblinking earning interest.

Since the link indicates my response should be a follow up question: Albert, why did you win so hard?

Shit, I just realized that this is the first year I’m old enough to be president, and I’m probably not going to be unless the millions of people better than me all die soon. I’m wasting my life.

As a lawyer, I don’t think this lady should worry about spending one penny on a lawyer. She could defend this case with five minutes on Google Scholar. What a load this is.

No, sorry, there’s lots of shit too.

I still would, but I’d have to account for the possibly that, any time I tell him to shut the fuck up, he might just pound me into the floor like a nail.

But that’s the thing. There probably aren’t enough Busters to cost Clinton the election. That’s just something to beat people over the head with. Polling shows Clinton doing better with Sanders voters than Obama did with Clinton voters, and Obama managed to win against a much more viable Republican.

Let’s just admit there’s nothing Sanders can possibly do right at this point. He ran as positive a campaign as you can run. He told his supporters to vote Clinton, and repeatedly vocally backed her. He could get up there and call the busters a bunch of assholes, but what good would that do? A Pew poll shows 90% of…

Everyone’s a responsible gun owner until they’re not.

Alright, shit just got too real for me.

If your answer isn’t Juvenile’s “Back That Azz Up,” then your marriage will probably fail.

Sometimes it’s a very young guy who needs some run dominating the ball and running more offense than he could get in the regular season— a guy who hasn’t played the role they want him to play. Sometimes it’s a guy who needs to work on one specific thing. I’m sure there are other reasons,but I don’t watch enough summer…

Thing is, they’ll win 38 games and get the 14th pick in the draft again. It’s going to be a long five years for Fred.

Don’t feel too bad. There are only three or four Kings fans.

You’re right, but Jordan’s number, at least, was a big outlier, and we’ll never know if he could have sustained that shooting at the volume most big time scorers do now. Jordan’s 260 attempts that year would have put him at 80th in the league this year, tied with such luminaries as Gerald Green and JJ Barea. LeBron…

There’s no telling, but I suspect the Bulls would have developed into a different, but equally terrifying, team under today’s rules. Maybe Jordan, Pippen, and Kukoc could have developed into snipers. Maybe they’d have run their own death lineup with Rodman at the 5 and Kukoc at the 4. That team could run just about…

I thought I was above the fat jokes, but here we are.

You try to downplay this, but it could have a serious effect on my plan to get out of the gray on every Gawker site. So far, I’ve only got Gawker, and that’s only because I called some guy a racist. The rest won’t be so easy.

Citation to historic precedent is always academic bullshit when the historic precedent doesn’t say what you want it to.

He’s going all in on this one.