It’s true - I am a shameless, and I thank God for Kinja’s edit feature, savior of countless “wait - fuck - y’know what would’ve worked better, if I’d said-” moments.

That’s true, I wouldn’t want to Pawn off the blame to him.

I’m shocked that the Lightning kept playing Ben Bishop, even when he wasn’t able to move around in his own crease, instead of just putting in the kid Andrei Vasilevskiy.

Reports out of Alouettes training camp say that Michael Sam was having a hard time adjusting to his role in the 12-man CFL defensive scheme, where teams generally employ a fifth defensive back.

I feel like we’re overlooking the best part of this video: starting at around 1:22, where Air Bud is awarded World Series MVP, playing first base with the Angels. (And with the play-by-play call, it’s Hockey Night In Canada’s Jim Hughson.)

You’re a monster and I respect it.

What’s the best McNugget dipping sauce? (Hint: it’s sure as fuck not honey.)

KIMMEL: “Have you got anything for Jeremy Lin yet?”

“Christ. Fenway would look like a disaster if we ever dropped Little Boy and Fat Man.”

FBI, ORGANIZED CRIME UNIT: Alright Gatling, spill the beans. Who’re you working with?

The reporter goes pretty easy on Gronk when it comes to interview questions, but luckily, he’s gotten lots of experience in the past year on how to handle soft balls.

I like to think of this as a piece of performance art, called “The Inside Of Your Dad’s Brain.”

I’m sorry, US Department of Justice, I can’t disclose any information about the secret bribes we gave the Qataris for their slavery-driven World Cup. [hangs up]

In case, for some reason, you’re reading day-old DUAN posts:

Hey New York DUANers, doing anything tomorrow? There’s a football speaking series going down at BB King’s. Peter Schrager, Kim Jones, Damon Amendolara, Dan Graziano, Ralph Vacchiano, Rich Cimini, & more. Should be a fun little night of football chat and beer-drinking.

I know that it’s Memorial Day and all, but did we really need an interpretive reenactment of the last time the Yankees beat the Royals this badly at the Siege of Yorkton?

DELLAVEDOVA: Man, that shit hurt. Do you know what it’s like to get a WWF finishing move put on you?

You can 100% change your handle.

Orange mocha frappuccinos.