The astounding thing about seeing a deleted scene from Vice is learning that Vice apparently had an editor who had the authority to delete scenes.

But what I really want to talk about here is the scourge of New Year’s Eve weddings. I haven’t actually had to attend one yet, thank god, but increasingly hear of family and friends doing so. What the hell?

It still kinda sucks in Canada.

If anything, I’d imagine the portion of the world who’ve played cricket would be at an even greater disadvantage, since all of your instincts would be wrong. There is virtually no chance you can slug a baseball 375 feet with a wooden bat by using a tight-to-your-body, scooping cricket swing, without any instruction on…

FRIDAY SAMER: “Barstool Stars”

You’re locked in your local grocery store for one hour. Your goal is to eat the maximum dollar value of food possible. Nothing can be cooked/prepared, all you have is your bare hands. How many dollars worth of food do you think you can eat?

What North American sports venue do the most people fuck in per year, either in bathrooms, cheap seats, or shady sections of the concourse? (Note: only counts if it’s during sports, so like, getting freaky in the MSG bathrooms during a Billy Joel concert doesn’t count.)

I’m still surprised that with his background, they’re trying him out at DH and not converting him to a pitcher. His throwing arm already has years of experience hitting corners.

Using a generous definition of “athlete” to include coaches and NASCAR drivers, Jimmy Johnson and Jimmie Johnson probably have a pretty high combined fame score.

So today I learned that at one point in the 80s, the Capitals and Devils, both struggling, seriously considered merging.

What’s your saddest childhood sports memory?

REPORTER: What do you have to say to the claims that the Olympic Committee is covertly working under military influence to fulfill political objectives coming from the capital?

You’d think that by this point in the NHL season, “Jersey Lost” wouldn’t be a noteworthy story anymore.

WHITE HOUSE ADVISOR: Just so we’re clear Mr. President, you’ve appointed a man who’s committed his life to fighting the EPA to head the EPA, a man who wanted to abolish the Department of Energy to be Energy Secretary, a fast food CEO who wants to abolish organized labor as Labor Secretary, I mean, what’s next? Is your…

Do you have any good list-based trivia questions that are suitable for frustrating friends during long road trips?

KID’S MOM: I’m looking for a cake for my 5-year-old’s birthday, let’s see... fuck Tom Brady, is that a good choice?

What’s your most unpopular fast food take?

Dropping the “ph” does make his name seem less basic.

If there were a new rule where you were forced to learn the language of a country in order to eat any food that originated from that country (no pizza unless you can pass a test in conversational Italian, etc.), would you put in the effort to learn some languages, or would you just be lazy and stick to eating foods…