Hey DUAN, how bout that football?

JIMMY HASLAM: Look, Rex, if you don't start this game for us, I'll be absolutely wrecked.

Hey, I asked for your book for Christmas! Assuming Santa comes through, I'll probably be able to plow through at least the first 10,000 pages while avoiding my family over the holidays.

As a result of the arena's closure, tonight's Wisconsin invitational atom league tournament has been postponed. Apparently the atom players are enjoying some downtime cooped up in their hotel rooms, although the only TV channel they get just shows Oprah reruns.

"Oh, so now Sid's face is all fucked up, and this time everyone's saying he SHOULD HAVE taken a shot?"

JAMES: Sorry, who are you?

BUCS HEAD OF HR: Now, for your exit interview, could you just take us through your experience working here?

His followup post on Instagram certainly didn't help his suspension.

"Everyone involved in staging this spectacle should be ashamed. Of course my client, Mickey Rourke, wouldn't have participated in this farce if he'd known ahead of time that the outcome would be a flop."

RYAN: Mike... I just wanted to tell you, up-front, that I don't agree with this decision. But it's time for you to pass the torch.

BUCKS ASSISTANT COACH: Giannis, c'mere a sec. Coach is drawing up a big play.

INTERVIEWER: Michael, you've really taken a shining to golf in retirement. Would I be correct in assuming that we'll be seeing you a lot out on the golf course?

Hey, pal: if you don't want to hear slurs when listening to an NFL broadcast, I recommend you just mute your TV! You can turn the volume back up after they're done interviewing Joe Namath.

That Spanish Fork player is gonna need some tenedor loving care.

These days, Kingston's equally well-known for two institutions: the maximum-security Kingston Penitentiary, home to some of Canada's most notorious criminals, and Queen's University.

On the flip side of the coin, this morning on Alex Jones' radio show, he spent a full 15 minutes on how he didn't believe that Jets could ever be responsible for such a huge, internal collapse

Hey DUAN, question for ya - is Cleveland nice?

Who wins a 100M race in high heels between Usain Bolt (assuming he's never worn high heels before) and a 25-year-old waitress who's been working at a diner for 5 years (can walk in high heels like it's second nature, physically fit but by no means a competitive track runner)? The heels are 2.5-inch spikes.

"Fury" kinda completely fell out of the Oscar buzz picture, huh? I saw it last night and I really liked it, but I can see how it can't really stand on its own in any of the big categories, other than Special Effects or Set Design or whatever other fake-ass technical category that ends up blowing your Oscar bracket.

It's been a weird day in Canada, DUAN. Stay safe.