JETS RECEIVING COACH: I know on your old team they may have done things differently, but here on the Jets, we have something called the One Drop Rule.

So what you're saying is.... Kinja is a good example of a comment system?

And I thought his songs had bad hooks.

"Psh. Here comes Nolan, just completely wasting a perfectly good opportunity to enjoy a six-pack."

NICK FOLK: [attempts field goal]

BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY WHERE'D ORTON COME FROM

"Yeah, everyone remembers Brady as this big-shot Patriot now. But y'know what? I missed my shot at him. I had him in my sights, and I missed my goddamn shot that day."

Skunk-Drunk Punk Sunk! Buc Schmuck Struck Truck; Cop Stop Pops Mop-Top

Hey DUAN, I wrote this essay about the deep cultural meaning of poutine over at my Kinja. (No, seriously. The importance of poutine to Canadian culture. I really wrote about that.) It would be pretty cool if you took a look.

- Randle: Listen, rookie. I need you to help me out on this. I need to grab a few things at the store, but I forgot my wallet at the stadium. Here's what you're gonna do, rookie: stand at the front of the store, wave your arms, make a commotion - just make sure the security guard doesn't notice while I grab what I…

Love in the backseat of a van getting ruined by poor timing: the story of my prom night

I am incredibly, incredibly lazy on that front. I could half-ass it, but I figure it's just easier to pretend the last 3 teams don't exist.

It's the weekend, DUAN! Have a bourbon & soda.

"Any time you are young and you are watching guys that you look up to and you find out they were doing something they weren't supposed to, I think it's disheartening"

Hey DUAN, I wrote this over on my Kinja, dismantling Nate Silver and FiveThirtyEight's comically bad reasoning about what Canadian cities could support an NHL team. (Sudbury? SUDBURY?)

Their earlier tweets are pretty corny and tone-deaf. But, to be fair, they say that delivery is 90% of comedy, and DiGiorno doesn't do delivery.

Jolie Kerr's cleanliness tips helped me clean my filthy baseball cap last night (shoutout to Jolie) which made me think: you guys should expand the "Ask a..." Q&A feature. Branch out into "Ask a health expert", "Ask someone who can cook", "Ask a lawyer", that sorta hired-gun-expert feature.

Just... just please tell me whether that e-mail from Samer's dad is real.